Tat Ergo Sum

Conversation

I never listen to or trust the weather folks on the teevee news. But I got caught this time -- this was the big bad. Two feet of snow between Cheyenne and Raton -- more near the foothills.

Well, Boulder is damp. To be fair, there are some good drifts in my backyard. But it never stuck to the streets in Boulder, and my plans for being snowbound all day fell through.

So I went back in tonight for a short visit, and it was a true joy. Riza's speech has improved quite a bit, and she was really in focus. We had a long talk, speculating on the difficulties that lay ahead for us, our sources of strength, and quite a bit of what we mean to each other. From the mundane to the metaphysical, just a couple of married folks talking.

Here's the hits:
I bought her a stuffed dog to keep her company if I were snowed in today. I suggested a few names for the little guy and she said "No. Johnny." I said that was my favorite word when she said it. And she said "it's my favorite word, too."

She asked "How many bodies do I have?" Did I hear that right? Yes. Well, dear, you have one beautiful body. She said "I had a stroke -- it feels like I have two bodies." Then she drew a line down the center. Left side, right side. So that's what it feels like.

The nurse, Holly, asked me to start sitting on her "Bad" side to force her to look that way. As it became later and she was showing some fatigue, I suggested that I could move to the left. No, she pointed to her right. I said "You choose the right way, even when it's hard -- I have to learn that from you. Sometimes I do the wrong thing because it's easy." She said that she learned that from my mother. And she said "Mom loved me."

Doing genealogy, Riza gets occasional visits from dead people. I asked if my Mom had visited her. She said "She's dead." I told her I knew that but that sometimes she visits her in her dreams. "Oh yeah," she said, "she has. She told me to be very strong." She said that she sees people in the hallway, who are alive but that she knows they're not really there.

She said that I will have to be strong, but that we always do all right with whatever hand we're dealt. She didn't know what life would be like (amen to that!) but she seemed ready for the adventure.

She asked about a long list of people. "How's so-and-so?" "How's somebody else?" These were not people that she sees every day, she was digging through to some obscure people.

Holly's grandfather had a stroke. When she walked in, Riza asked "How's your grandpa?"

It was a magical evening.

Posted by jk at April 10, 2005 09:47 PM